What is the difference between Russian and American girls?
My name is Matthew Coon from the American state Vermont. I am 31 years old. And I'm practically "Fock-on-all-hand-dock". I enjoy life, I learn from my own experience - although sometimes this experience comes in the form of such lessons, without which it was possible to do without, I think in advance and properly. But what can you say? In Russian city Tomak, I have several different jobs: I am teaching English language lessons, also I am a freelance graphic designer and moderating online forums, more and more plunging into the abyss of programming. And I'm also a violent self-taught musician: I play on the drum, guitar and I write music myself. I'm a boring guy - I'm interested in history, politics and languages, doing music. I recently got a family.
Why did you decide to come to Tomsk? Was this the right step?
Simply, I came to Tomsk because my wife is from here. She did not want to live in America, and I did not start a conflict, and I came to Tomsk. I can not say that I did not like this idea at all, because I myself was not averse to leaving the USA. I had to adapted to life in Tomsk and Russia in general, but I do not regret anything and will say that this was definitely the right step. In general, when you get used to it, life here is not bad at all. I have friends and I must say, I am quite happy here.
What do they think about Russian girls in America?
The American would tell you that the Russian women are very beautiful. But they have not explored the Russian realities purposefully. Eastern Europe for Americans is a black hole. I mean that besides the centenary stamps about these places, little is known. The main stereotype about Russian girls is that they are very expensive "mail order brides", and if suddenly you were lucky enough to have a Russian girlfriend in America, then the question "and how much did you pay?" You will hear very often.
What is the difference between dating in the States and Russia?
First of all, for almost a hundred years the Americans massively (and intensively) brainwashed feminism. As a result of courtship in the traditional sense, it became practically impossible. Now it means that you bring the girl out for dinner or where she still wants, you pay for this entertainment and listen to her claims to men, the reasons for her hatred of them and other complaints. Then you say good-bye at the restaurant, where she will sail, or you take her home, where, maybe (and maybe not), you will be awarded a kiss and even embraces. That's all. (Sometimes you can meet a girl who will share a bed with you on the first night, she will put a tick in her list of trophies, you are in her. As this is really frivolous and purely for the sake of pleasure, this is not a candidacy for courtship and long-term relationships). If only you make some hints that the girl does not like, she can regard them as "aggressive" or sexual, and then you will spend the evening alone. In other words, women have all the trump cards on their hands, and if you play recklessly or take the wrong note, you are in for trouble.
A Russian girl - on the contrary - listens to your opinion and waits for you to plan and lead. She will give you a strange look, if you do not make the order yourself, you will not help her to sit down, pushing a chair, you will not take off her coat (in winter) and in general, if you are not just a man. A sense of humor is welcome, and there is some idea of fashion or the ability to wear something other than sports sneakers and jeans. In addition, do not expect delights, if you are stupid decide to impress her with profanity. Here and to this day it is not accepted to swear dirty in the presence of women. And when you see a damn attractive Russian woman next to a so-so-guy, know - at least, but in it she found the qualities she needed.
Even when I came to the girl in Russia by invitation, I had a feeling that she was always waiting for me to say what I would eat, drink, how I wanted to spend time. And in this their striking difference from the American "I-so-independent-in-you-no-drop-do-need" women. Of course, I must make a reservation that these are generalizations, though without exaggeration. But any generalization is worthless, so that everything can turn out differently.
What is it like to be married in Russian? What are the pros and cons?
Yes, I'm married to a Russian. To put it in one word, it's interesting. Day by day is not necessary - it can be "very interesting", well, maybe "bad." What I did not know about Russian women until I ran into them was their stubbornness, emotional and aggressive. Nevertheless, those feminine qualities that I was looking for neutralize the problems in the relationship.
In America, when I woke up from blissful ignorance, it dawned on me that the reasons for my misfortunes were that American women had ceased to be women. Now this is a walking sex trap that drags money out of a man's pocket, but is well-trained and knows how to tell the police about a man if he still caught her hand. Who wants to be with an American, if they file for divorce for no particular reason, they take home a house, a car, money, custody of children from the husband, leave him with nothing, even if he did nothing wrong? That's when I decided to look at other cultures to find "the true embodiment of femininity."
It seems to me that my wife could not be a woman even more than she already is. Homemade, perfectly cooks, refuses any help around the house, very good housewife. She watches herself, does not smoke, drinks very seldom and before me she had only one boy. In addition, she is a very caring mother. I am amazed by her incredible stubbornness and aggression in situations when something is going against "her plans". She constantly plans everything, she needs to think over and paint every day to the smallest detail.
What do you think about Western feminism? Does he make women happier?
The answer is loud and clear: NO! Feminism acts so destructively on the relations of men and women that it remains only to be amazed - what kind of liberation idea do women find in it? Perhaps I would say this: feminism is when around the clock, seven days a week, women complain about what men are scoundrels and scoundrels, that women have absolutely the same abilities and can do everything themselves as well and even better, and how disrespectfully Society refers to women. And all this madness is aggravated by the idea that women rule the world, all problems would be solved more effectively and without bloodshed. Who cares if one of the candidates for the US presidency, fiercely defending the war in the Middle East, was a woman - Hillary Clinton. Anyone who has encountered female offense will confirm that there is no creature more vengeful on earth than a woman. Two guys can gather for fishing five minutes after the quarrel, and women are different. The woman will be thirty-seven years old to take care of the wound, and will do everything so that the life of her offender turns into hell during her lifetime.
The bottom line is that there is no equality in nature. Man and woman are not meant to compete with each other. They are created for admiration, love and mutual complement. Gender differences are vital for the health and safety of society, and even for personal development and motivation. Feminism is a brutal extermination of truly feminine qualities, as a result of which women eventually lose all orienteer. Feminism turns into a hatred for everything female. This is an attack on our survival, our chances of finding our happiness in a pair. This is some kind of extreme messy attraction in which a woman hates men, fights hard for a career, does not have children, and at forty suddenly realizes that she did everything wrong, but at the same time she has the audacity to ask: "And what about normal men more no?".
Why do you think some Russian women prefer foreigners?
Perhaps they follow a simple logic that "it's good where we do not exist"? Although I must say that many of the girls with whom I discussed this topic do not think so. In general, Russian women really do not mind complaining about their male compatriots. Around such a lot of insanely attractive women that Russian men do not make it difficult to tear themselves away from the couch to keep their woman next to them, because they do not have to strain to find a new girlfriend, no worse than the previous one.
Probably, still it is possible to tell, that the western men are accepted to consider more sympathetic concerning house and family affairs. As for our case, my wife had absolutely no plans to find a foreign husband, it just happened to us. So I really can not say that every Russian girl makes an informed choice and purposefully seeks a guy from the West. Usually they just want to "leave Russia" and "go to America", where "everything is better", and in principle, this is a realistic view of things.
You could compare the manner of women to dress in Russia and in the US?
Good question. I think that it is quite obvious that women in Russia prefer a more feminine style in clothes. The American will pull jeans with a T-shirt and will be happy. A Russian woman, even when she goes to a deli, wears a skirt, heels and a blouse. In addition, I want to warn that Americans often run the risk of being dressed too simply, which may be inappropriate in some cases. If you go to dinner in a restaurant or on a visit, dress properly. I'm just talking about slacks, a shirt with buttons and clean shoes. Do not be a dude in jeans and sports shoes.
Do you think gender stereotypes change in Russia? Is it good or bad?
No, I do not have that feeling. For example, I do not see women in military uniform or in extinguishing fires. I also did not meet women who claim that they are able to perform hard physical work on an equal footing with men or even better than them and engage in traditionally male affairs. (In fact, here it is considered a sign of courtesy to offer to help a woman bring a heavy bag, etc.). But I see some changes in the structure of society as a whole. Women have a long career and do not hurry to give birth. By the age of thirty they understand that they want to have children, then they begin to meet with some guys, choose a suitable candidate for the role of the father, become pregnant, and then raise the child alone or together with their mother. Men are too busy - either they achieve the coveted status "at the call of duty" or, having put on something pink in the guise, try to send someone to a nearby nightclub. All this is equally destructive and harmful for a modern family. I see a lot of American people in relation to life here, and it worries me very much.
Is there more pressure in Russia on marriage than in America? Is there a need for marriage?
Yes, marriage in life Russians play a very important role, and this is quite expected and justified. Young people increasingly find this idea old-fashioned. For me, an American, marriage is a bit of a prison sentence, because the American justice system is almost always on the side of women regardless of the facts. By itself, the concept of marriage is normal, but terribly formalized, and the US government has too much power. I'm not even talking about the fact that if the wife comes to mind to leave her husband, though on a delusional occasion, the guy runs the risk of just being left with nothing. The wife will take everything that her husband earned. Once I thought that marriage was really necessary, but then I saw enough, and my position changed dramatically. Now I do not really like this idea.
Is there a similarity between American and Russian families?
No. Well, let's just say this: today's American families are classic examples of the dysfunctional and destroyed. There are no such families as in The Beavers' Trick * for sixty years already. But still, one of the main traditions of American culture is dependence on the idea of independence. In America, people believe that people should be independent, that everyone should go their own way, and all that. At eighteen, you are somehow obliged to leave your parents' home: go to college, find a job, join the army, or somewhere else to find your way. If you are twenty-five, and you still live with your parents, then the reputation of a backward or virgin is assured to you. However, the bitter irony is that most American teens at the age of eighteen happily set out on their own, but there was a collapse in the financial world and the labor market. The life plan "college-work-promotion" ordered a long life.
As for Russia, people here are often connected by very close family ties (which, however, are not an obstacle to battles and dramas of about the same character as ours). Children over twenty here often live with their parents. Often in the same apartment lives and their grandmother. Apparently, here it is considered a common thing. And yet, I must say that both Russians and Americans do not care enough about the elderly. Elderly Americans are desperately independent, but their situation is very vulnerable, and older people in Russia seem to be walking in invisible hats - nobody cares about them.